I … unfortunately can relate to this particular situation. Although not experienced in the exact manner … cause I never won the lotto … I can still relate to a certain degree. However, I found it to be quite humourous and I’m sure others will too !!!! Enjoy !!!!
THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER !
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell …Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work !!! I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER,because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them. I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone..
Everything happens for a reason, I guess !!! I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me … So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
I found this today and thought to myself ” Oh how true this is .” If the world would have gone by the common sense rule in the first place we wouldn’t be in the shape that we are today .. I want y’all to think about this one … read it carefully and you’ll see what I mean .. !!!!
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn’t always fair; And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies.Don’t spend more than you can earn and adults, not children, are in charge.
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate … Teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch … And a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student … Only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 step brothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, I’m A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.